I’ve Perfected the Art of Bed Days
It’s only taken me ten years but I think I’ve pretty much figured out how to have the perfect bed day.
The key is to find a show with a fair amount of seasons and just rewatch that over and over again. Get to the point where you know each seasons plot inside and out. This way you can fall asleep watching your show, wake up and have not missed a thing. There’s also a sense of reassurance in knowing what’s next (wish I had that reassurance when I leave my bed) that calms my anxiety.
I prefer streaming sites like Amazon Prime and Netflix to Now TV and it’s all down to not needing to click that next episode button. Despite doing nothing but staying in bed all day I don’t actually have the attention span for new shows most of the time. The only issue right now I’m growing bored of my current rotation, so I’ve decided to break it up with The Matrix.
It’s funny, I’m actually a decent cook, but I don’t like cooking all that much. There’s definitely a relationship between the state of my mental health and my need to overspend. I have my go to depression meals, they range from pastas, to cereals and then at the bottom of the list is a cup of tea and sleep. When there’s money in the bank I’ll spend hours contemplating a take away. Chinese works best right now, I’ll order bucket loads of food that’ll last a couple of meals. I’ll binge on half of it straight away and feel too sick to eat the rest of the day.
Gone are the day’s of sleeping on the floor. When I moved back in with my rents I invested in one of those mattress advertised on the tube (shout out to those train discount codes), sometimes I miss sleeping on the floor. I’m beginning to think it doesn’t matter anyway, no matter how fancy the bed, I can’t quite escape the inevitability of an aching body.
I feel like I have a real life body and my bed body. Sometimes I can pretend for a while that I’m not bed bound. From my phone I can give the illusion that I’m okay. Eventually messaging friends seems meaningless, my responses are less frequent, I’ll start to test if people notice. When people stop checking in I’ll convince myself they never cared to begin with.
Don’t feel bad you haven’t brushed your teeth in days, just chew some gum next time your housemate comes to check on you. Remember to open the window every few hours to air out that musty smell. Forgo underwear and invest in biodegradable wet wipes – you can get 40 bath in bed wipes for £10 on amazon.
7. I’m tired
I’m tired of my bed
I’m tired of being alone
I’m tired of feeling too much
I’m tired of regulating my emotions
I’m tired of crying all day
I’m tired of crying all night
I’m tired of crying headaches
I’m tired of trying to sleep
I’m tired of getting no sleep
I’m tired of forcing myself to eat
I’m tired of trying to take care of myself
I’m tired from emotional exhaustion
I’m tired of escaping this world
I’m tired of not knowing whats wrong
Depression is tiring.
An indescribable wave of emotions. It’s strange to both feel everything yet feel like you don’t exist.So you shut yourself off, master the skill of existing without feeling. It’s a skill that comes with consequences, personal hygiene, mental clarity. It’s the ability to live without living.
If you don't get out of bed, you'll lose your fucking job
It only gets better
Why would you move to Reading if you study in East London?
M – we spend most of our time in Reading. It just made sense
J – Moni spends most of their time in my bed. It just made sense
Colleague – what did you get up to this weekend?
Moni – I mostly just stayed in bed